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I'm scared I'm going to become high maintenance. Boredom is killing my soul. There's a fine line between being an artist and being bored. I'm getting to close to it. I DONT SPEND ENOUGH TIME OUTDOORS. Read a book in 5th grade about assassins. Said routine is the easiest way to get yourself killed. That always stuck with me. I want a boy to see me. I get so intimated around people who are good at art. Girls camp theme was "you are enough". Well I hope so. I hate driving a mini van. I hate even more that in not grateful for a damn car. I want to go outside and walk the streets. Scared my dad will piss out if I do cause it's 1:30 am. I'm all talk anyways. my beds too warm. Spent way too long on this ipood today. Arrrgghh. Im so scared I'm going to get fat. Suposed to be writing about music. MUSIC IS LIFE. That's all I got to say about that. Glad for my friends who came in right when I needed them most. Really happy right now. Haven't cried in a loooong time.  Love my family life. Me my dad and my brother and my sister are a cool mix. Weird artisy people, that's my kind of crew. I should go to bed. Sfgskdkehehxydjak I don't want to. cause then I have to wake up to walking in a prison made of white walls and high school spirit, all at 7:42 in the bloody morning. I don't learn shit on my senior year schedule. It's kinda late. I'm going to close my eyes now. Wonder if anyone will read this cause I posted so late. Why don't I read books anymore?