Puberty with a side of fried brain cells

Depressed and brainless. 

The high is never worth the low.

You were confident and crazy

Where'd you go

You look broken and I don't know how to FIX you.

You said the static came. Cold and emotionless. 

We watched warm bodies 

Warm body

White will HELP the static 

You want to be able to realize your flying kites again. 

Instead of not feeling 

Frog boiling in hot water

You said you wouldn't ever get there

But now the color white looks good.

You want your confident and crazy back

Your real self.

That only comes with the USE of somthing that is not you.

You look like your not here. All packed up and moved somewhere else on a tR.I.P.

Your sad.

Controlled & Addicted 

Come back

GONE. 

Get others help, or get yourself help. It will not lead to happiness, it will make you sad. Too many, and not enough I recognize anymore. 

I for one like my brain. 

The reason I don't look in the mirrors in the hallway.

You look for the comments on your blog like you haven't had water for 12 days

Pass by the mirror in the hallway. Stop. Fix your hair and keep going, feeling worse then you did before you stopped. 

Check the Instagram unfollower app to see who's still your friend this week.

Buy yet another different kind of mascra.

Your brothers at home watching some boring TV show, you know it's his last resort. Yet you still leave and go to Zach's house. Fry your hair for that feeling of looking better then your natural self. Say a joke that isn't even yours. Dis on another girl, cause you have nothing else to contribute to the conversation that is dying. 

What makes us human 

Corporations make mega stuffed Oreos now. Marshmallow are bigger then Texas. And there is a 10 lb chocolate bar out there. society lives for bigger and better. The better the improvement the bigger the success. Advancement is adcheviment which is the goal. Get your kid in a inform. If he's not in an ivory league school, your a failure. 

We don't have time to figure things out

You should have already known what collage your going to by the age of 3. And that wearing too much eyeliner and fake baking your skin orange is not a good look. 

You should have already known that it's stupid to waste your life trying to be an artist whe in reality you were born for accounting. 

Or that straight bangs don't look good on your head type.

What makes us human

Don't listen to the one on one conversation. Tone out. Focus back in whe you hear that so and so said such and such about you. Now your interested in the person that has been infront of you for the last 10 minutes. 

What makes us human

Feel good about your appearance today. Walk around the commons just a little bit more.

 

What makes us human

Drive faster and listen to harder rap when your friends are in the car. When they leave slowly put on wild nothing. 

What makes us human

.……….....….…….…...........................

What makes us human what makes us human what makes us human. Who knows.... who really cares. Just be the best human being you can. Don't be the mega stuffed Oreo or the adnormaly large marshmallow. 

Just be you, be real, and be gratful your not a hipo.

 

As Big Sean would say... This shit just got DEEEP

I believed being happy was a choice.

You get one day a year to stay at home to be sick.

You get one injury during your sports season.

And you get one time in your life where you can be sad. 

Believed is a past tense of believe.

People come in and out of your life for a reason. 

They serve their purpose and then move on or you move on or they stay. Whatever happens there is a reason for it. 

Could be one day you decide to go sit by the cute new boy in your English class and ask him where his from. That person then becomes part of your life, then a huge part of your, then completely out of your life. 

 a sister decides to try it out yoga.  Why not. She could always touch her toes. Finds out she's good at it, becomes a yogi. Invites you to a class and you feel the spirt for the first time in years through meditation. 

Or your dad takes you to kolers every morning before kindergarten starts. Because there's the awkward time between when the older kids need to be dropped off at the big school & you at your little school. He buys you a bagel almost everyday. Consistence is his game. One day you notice coloring pages, color one and turn it in. You win, and realize your good at somthing. 

Or the mouth you give your mom turns into a blessing instead of a curse. You end up spreading more time being grounded then out of your house with your friends. You turn to basketball out of sheer bordeum then one day you beat your dad at pig and get thinking 

It all could just be serendipity

Or maybe you make up everything and there's not just some predestined life laid out for you. 

Whatever the hell it is, it is what it is. 

I believed people choose if they were happy or not. But now I believe it's not a choice. And somtimes it's not the most horrible thing to be sad. The lows bring the highs

And maybe one day someone good with words will come in to your life and help clarify just a little on what's going on. 

And let you know it's okay to be sad at least every once in a while 

Best friends my butt.

Were very welcoming, always a good time, the best company. My husband makes the best steak. Our kids are running around the yard together chasing a raccoon. Me and my husband on one side. You and yours on the other. We're at the point where were crying from laughing too hard while still trying to fork in that amazing steak. After dinner me and you move to the kitchen. We're washing the dishes. You mention the time we told our parents we were sleeping over at each other's houses and drove all the way to ephrom, tears flow again. Our boys are in the living room now talking up about the 49ers playing the lakers in feild hockey. Later we move to the pourch swing, stars out, summer night, nothing's better. We find out my little boy kissed your little girl in a game of truth or dare, the story is too funny to imagine. our stomachs hurt from laughing too hard. We're not even talking anymore we're just grasping for breath. It's starting to get late, kids dropping in sleep everywhere. My husband helps gather them up to carry them to your old beat up mini van which just happens to be sliver. I come give you a hug, it's not a long one cause after all I'll see you next Sunday, like always.

But we don't even talk anymore

Wasn't worth it for you to even pick a fight with me, you just went quite

We just stopped being friends

And now I'm not in your life and your not in mine

Best friends my butt.

Hash tag diff er ent

The difference between me & you. The difference is what I want to be, which you are. Or could be which I am not. The difference which makes us different. If I was not different then you, then there would be no different and we would not differ from each other. The difference is in the differ of each other which makes me different then you. If we were not different from one another then we would be the same. And being the same would not make us different. So that is the difference between me & you. 

Yeahhhhh 

That meant nothing to me

We are different because if we weren't the world would just suck. 

*pause

(Sorry for the break just think it's  funny how your actually reading what I've writting now instead of the first paragraph)

*unpause 

Im glad I can draw and the kid in my A3 class can climb light poles in the parking lot 

I'm glad I can make weird voices and lebron can dunk 

I'm glad I have crazy curly hair and he can do one trillion pull ups

I'm glad I can shoot a basketball good and she can touch her tongue to her nose 

I'm glad I'm sitting here blogging in a complete different setting then you

I'm glad I have an extra long pinkies and he can do weird impressionations 

I'm glad I can make the best broccoli and she can do a backflip in a tight mini skirt 

I'm glad I'm different from you 

And you are from me

P03M

The discomfort of a shred of absences 

The small notation of an unbalance ignorance

The unpleasing thought of something missing 

But unable to detect the source of sarrow. 

Adolescents is bliss

Things that I honestly believed as a kid:

-ABBA and Hilary Duff are the only music artist out there 

-I'm the best at speed & 4square

-no one is better at art then me

-I am pretty

-I'm going to play gor BYU in basketball, no question

-I hate my brother

-I am going to date the quarterback on the football team

-going to be a professional snowboarder 

-always going to be best friends with Emily Clements 

-my mom loves me 

-glue taste good

-bobby jack t shirts are the shiz

-all the boys has crushes on me

-me & my brother were going to become professional at every sport besides soccer

-going to marry Hunter Allen 

-going to paint my entire house pink along with everything in it

-being sad was for people with really big problems

-my family will always be a consist 

-Friends will always be there 

-I would never fail 

-I would always be happy

Art. today I'm going to post about art. i don't know if I'm a good artist. I defiantly want to be. I don't know if i like the image of me as a artist or if i just like art it self. But i think its the feeling i get when its 3 am and I'm crouched on my bed listening to radiohead feeling like i just created something . something that i know no one else in the world has. feeling productive? creative, original, myself, and all that other bull shit. i love it. eat it up. its my high. i know I'm not the best. i get intimidated around good artist. People who know whats up. you know people who are"good at art".but slowing gaining more confidence and it shows, i hope. who knows art is just perceptive anyways.

H.A.T.S. Hungry As The Sumo. i don't know, tired thinking of a cool metaphorical acronym but this was the only thing i could come up with. I guess in my life i wear lots of hats. work visor, sister hat, sports helmet, artist thinking cap, imaginary wife of bob from bob burgers chief hat. i undertake this challenge of wearing multiple hats a day. I say challenge because i only have one head, so sometimes i have to swap a hat out of another. this sucks because in instances i really do want to be one hat around people when it ends up I'm another. so yeah, H.A.T.S " your only as hungry as the sumo you want to be." jk i still cant tie that in. but hey it could mean nothing to you but so can the everyday hat.